So, I’d mentioned that I’d been rather introspective over the past couple weeks. It does, as you might imagine, have a lot to do with venturing out on a second, then a third and fourth date with Mark3, and it has everything to do with moving on with my life.
I’ll be honest: I’m scared. I’m scared because in all the years I've spent dating, I’m not sure I’ve grown any savvier at it. I've made crappy decisions, I've been a bad judge of character, and this last time, I screwed up monumentally by actually marrying a man who turned out to be a complete douchebag. And you know what? Despite about a year's worth of soul searching since the split and easily ten or so hours spent on a therapist's couch, I'm still not entirely sure what I did wrong -- and as such, I am not at all confident that I won't screw up again.
This recent revelation is, in fact, this poignant: I've kept a journal for many years and four months into my relationship with my ex, I scribbled across a journal page:
"This is a man who will never cheat on his wife."