Seriously.
Somewhere along the way, my dating life devolved into a murky mess of mistakes, misjudgment, missed opportunities and mishaps, taking me from Miss to Mrs and back again. Thankfully, my boundless cynicism and proclivity for self-deprecation has managed to convert my tragic personal life into endless entertainment for friends and family.
I've now decided to blog about it.
I've now decided to blog about it.
With regard to my motivations, I’m not compelled to do this out of some narcissistic assumption that my life is so intensely fascinating that others – whether I know them or not – are clamoring to get the scoop on my day-to-day existence. Rather, I suspect it’s out of some primal need for a deeper catharsis that I’ve decided to turn my almost-hyperbolic heartbreak into fodder for the masses. To an extent, I’m also driven by the idea that there may exist other chronically single souls that could find some cold comfort in knowing they aren’t alone.
Then, of course, there is the simple fact that four-minute phone conversations and quick a.m. debriefings with aforementioned friends and family are not a sufficient means of truly conveying and/or illustrating the hilarity, absurdity, or misfortune that is inevitably observed during my many encounters with the opposite sex -- these typically resulting from electronic exchanges, be it emails, text messages, or dating site solicitations. A blog, I reason, will enable me to communicate this content more effectively. I must also acknowledge the distinct possibility that my friends and family don’t always find my short stories entertaining or may not necessarily be in the mood to listen to my perpetual venting and lamenting – in which case, they can simply choose to read or not to read.
Admittedly and from a self-serving sense, I’d also kinda like to force a little meaning into what I feel is the otherwise pointless personal torment inflicted by my love life’s failings. Those closest to me, long ago, resorted to quelling me with the everything-happens-for-a-reason consolation. All I can say at this point is that if there is a reason, it certainly hasn’t made itself known yet – and the what-doesn't-kill-you-makes-you-stronger rationale is little more than a slightly philosophical way of answering the question “Why?” with “Because." -- so that doesn’t count as a reason in my mind. That said, maybe, just maybe, this blog will lend me a little sense of much-needed purpose as I forge on in pursuit of that one good man who has managed to elude me for going on two decades now.
And so, without further ado, please turn your attention to the regularly scheduled drama of my life, already in progress…
You are hilarious. I am sure I am older than you, but your blog pretty much sums up my entire dating experience. Are you in NC? I lived there for 13 years, and it seemed like the odds were good but the goods were odd. Love it there, though. Back in the Midwest and the man situation is no better. I am currently in the off-online-searching-IRL part of the cycle!
ReplyDeleteLove your blog. As far as the makeup is concerned, thank God I don't do weekend first meets. No first meet is worth my precious down time. I do hair and makeup for work, and I figure I can meet them for an after-work adult beverage.
Also, I do Maybelline/Cover Girl/cheap.
"The odds were good but the goods were odd" - love it! That's a quotable, for sure.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words. The post-work meet is a good idea for makeup-salvaging although I know myself well enough to know that I'd touch it up on my way out of the office and any amount of makeup squandered on some of the losers I go out with is too much.
And for the record, most of mine is drugstore makeup too.....for any women throwing away their paychecks at the macy's cosmetic counter, I'd recommend you spend an evening loitering in the bathroom of a hip LA club some time -- the celebs use the stuff right off the racks of Walgreens, so I figure if it's good enough to be photographed in by the paparazzi, then it's good enough for my day-to-day!