Beware of (another) Douche

As a preface, I would like to acknowledge that the obnoxious email exchange that was initiated by cutesweetgent was not the worst thing in the world. He was being a dick, for sure - but that, alone, didn't warrant an autopsy of his match.com profile. When a closer look at his profile revealed that he regularly alters vital details such as his age and where he's from, however, I decided that a postmortem was definitely in order. Not only does he prove that he is a lying asswipe, but his profile, in general, is a joke. What's more is that this is also a frightening peak behind the mask of lies so brazenly worn by some of the men on these dating sites. 

For the record, I do believe that there are plenty of men on Match.com and in the rest of these online shark tanks that are, in fact, catches. I've seen a few friends reel in some bona fide winners over the years, and I'm hoping that, more recently, I've landed a keeper, myself. Regardless, there are plenty of bottom feeders just like cutesweetgent - and thus, plenty of reasons for hopeful, well-meaning singles to keep their guards up when fishing in these waters.

Now, without further ado, let the slicing, dicing, and satirizing begin...